Sex may change over the course of a person’s life, but that doesn’t mean it has to go away. Many people in their senior years (70+) are continuing to enjoy satisfying sex with their sexual partners. The following are a few ways that older individuals can continue to have great sex.

Use Tools, Medications, and/or Products to Enhance the Experience

As men age, their testosterone levels decline, meaning that they may experience a lower sex drive and might require more stimulation to get and maintain an erection. Women’s estrogen and testosterone levels decrease as they age, so they may struggle with decreased libido, vaginal dryness, and vulvar tissues that are thinner and less flexible, possibly causing painful sex.

Several things can help either of these situations. Men can talk to their health care providers about taking PDE5 inhibitors (oral medications for erectile dysfunction), doing hormone replacement therapy (with or without PDE5 inhibitors), using a vacuum erection device, or trying injections. Experimenting with a vibrator on the head of the penis (or with other types of easy-to-use sex toys) may also provide more stimulation for an erection.

Women can speak to their health care providers about the possibility of using local estrogen therapy to help mitigate some of the changes in their lubrication levels and vaginal tissues. Alternatively (or in addition), they can use a personal lubricant during sexual activity to make it more comfortable and enjoyable. Vibrators and other sex toys may also enhance a woman’s pleasure during sex. Lastly, there are medications available that can improve a person’s sexual desire, so women can speak with their health care providers about these options.

Emphasize Intimacy

Senior adults are generally familiar with intimacy, and this is a very important part of sex. Instead of focusing solely on penetrative sexual activity, it can be helpful to concentrate on exploring all kinds of pleasure and erotic experiences. Hugging, kissing, exchanging massages, and using hands and sex toys on one another can be enjoyable ways to experience one’s sexuality with a partner that do not require penetration. This approach can take the pressure off both individuals to perform, possibly improving the experience overall.

Communicate With Your Partner

It is important to communicate with your sexual partner at any age, and seniors are no exception. Communicating openly with a sexual partner allows a person to express any concerns or anxieties they may have, as well as their likes, dislikes, desires, and boundaries. Some couples may benefit from meeting with a sex therapist to improve their communication around sex.

Continue to Have Safe Sex

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can still affect older adults, so it is important to stay current on your STI status if you change sexual partners. Also, practicing safe sex by using condoms and dental dams during all types of sexual activity (i.e., vaginal sex, oral sex, and anal sex) is very important.

The Bottom Line

People can have good sex at any age, so you shouldn’t let your age prevent you from having enjoyable, consensual sex. In addition to fostering intimacy in couples, sex has other benefits such as keeping one’s blood pressure lower, boosting one’s immune system, easing pain, and helping a person relax.

References:

• DerSarkissian, C. (2023, February 22). Guide to Sex After 60. https://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/ss/slideshow-guide-to-sex-after-60
  
  
• Great Senior Living. (2022, November 2). Great Senior Sex: Tips for Staying Active in the Bedroom. https://www.greatseniorliving.com/articles/senior-sex
  
  
• Smith, M., & Segal, J. (2023, February 23). Better Sex as You Age. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/alzheimers-dementia-aging/better-sex-as-you-age.htm