Some people engage in sex not because they want to but out of a sense of duty or obligation to their partner. This is known as “duty sex,” which can stem from feelings of pressure, fear of disappointing a partner, or a belief that it’s simply part of the relationship. Research specifically on women shows that those who have experienced nonconsensual sexual events (NSEs), such as sexual pressure or assault, are more likely to engage in duty sex. These experiences may shape how they view sex, making them feel less satisfied and more likely to prioritize a partner’s expectations over their own desires.

Duty sex is also linked to sexual issues like pain, low desire, and dissatisfaction. For example, women with body image concerns or low self-esteem may engage in duty sex, which can further decrease their enjoyment of intimacy.

A new study on duty sex highlights the importance of addressing these patterns in relationships and clinical settings. By understanding the factors behind duty sex, we can work toward improving sexual health, communication, and overall well-being for affected women.

The participants recruited for this study were cisgender women aged 18–68 from the U.S. or Canada who were sexually active within the past month. After screening and data checks, the final group included 658 women. The women provided information on their demographics, sexual history, and experiences using validated surveys.

Nearly 45% reported at least one NSE, such as nonconsensual touching, oral sex, or penetration. Sexual motivations for the women were assessed in four areas: pleasure, intimacy, self-affirmation, and a sense of duty (feeling obligated to engage in sex). Researchers also measured participants’ overall sexual function, including factors like desire, arousal, satisfaction, and pain.

Ultimately, the study identified differences in sexual motivations between women with and without histories of NSEs, while accounting for variations in sexual function. The researchers found that duty sex occurred more often in women with histories of NSEs. Women with NSE histories also reported slightly lower sexual satisfaction, vaginal lubrication, and orgasm function compared to those without such histories. However, there were no significant differences between the two groups in terms of sexual pain, desire, or arousal.

The study used models to explore how sexual function predicts motives like pleasure, intimacy, and self-affirmation. Women reporting better sexual function (e.g., higher arousal, lubrication, and orgasm scores, with fewer issues like pain) were more likely to engage in sex for pleasure or intimacy. Conversely, women with lower satisfaction and higher sexual pain were more likely to report duty sex as a motive.

In summary, the study emphasizes that sexual function and experiences, including histories of NSEs, play a role in shaping women’s reasons for engaging in sex, particularly the frequency of duty sex. These findings provide valuable insights into the complex ways NSEs affect women’s sexual experiences and could guide interventions aimed at enhancing sexual well-being.

The study also highlights how societal norms, past trauma, and sexual dysfunction contribute to feelings of obligation during sex. Future research should examine how duty sex impacts relationships and well-being and whether targeted interventions can reduce the pressure to engage in sex without genuine desire. This could improve sexual autonomy and satisfaction for those affected.

References:

• Metcalfe, K. B., Kilimnik, C. D., & Meston, C. M. (2024). Predictors of duty sex frequency in women. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 21(12), 1120–1130. https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdae137